


Bits and Bobs

by denytheworld



Category: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies), The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Alternate Universe - Hogwarts, F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-08-18
Updated: 2014-08-20
Packaged: 2018-02-13 15:42:01
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,550
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2156052
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/denytheworld/pseuds/denytheworld
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Just a few Kiliel ideas I started working on and for whatever reason, put on the backburner. They will hopefully be finished.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Elf Witch AU

**Author's Note:**

> AU Tauriel really is an elf-witch and she’s the only one who even associates with non-elves. Kili had decided to seek her out to find a way to preserve Bilbo’s life. 
> 
> OR: The one where Tauriel is a cranky witch and Kili is determined to make a nuisance of himself.

He’d expected a lot more than the little house at the edge of Laketown. It certainly didn’t look dangerous or even remotely intimidating. He had spent a great deal of time imagining just _what_ he'd find at his journey's end. The young dwarf had let his imagination run wild as he travelled - one day, this supposed witch lived in a dank cave and the next, she lived in a resplendent castle. Reality was much more disappointing. The little house was neat and tidy, with friendly blue flowers by the front windowsill, he’d expected a small family to be its occupant – not a witch.

But it was a witch he needed.

He’d travelled all this way and he was _not_ going to return empty-handed to face his family. Even now, he wonders if he’s not too late. His journey to the east had been rife with misfortune and innumerable delays. He’d been meticulous in this and had even searched through the old ruins of the elven kingdoms but found nothing. The First Children were long gone from the world but he had hoped a few would linger and that of them, _one_ would condescend to save him and his family.

Rivendell had been reclaimed by nature and the Great Greenwood, while free from the darkness was no less treacherous to travel through. And _Erebor_ … with the dragon still sleeping within and all possible entrances to the great mountain lost, he was shut off from the old libraries. There  _were_ other places he could have looked, Kili knew. But his uncle and mother and practically all their kin had forbidden him from venturing into Moria or further North. 

Besides, he was getting tired of ruins.

And even with the knowledge, it could still prove useless without someone who could _use_ it. Kili was no scholar and no dwarf yet lives who had practiced magic. Kili knows he needed a witch.

And should this witch refuse…

“If all you are going to do is stand there, go stand a little further to your left.” A voice breaks him out of his maudlin reverie. By the window stood a woman, eyes narrowed and watching him with the intensity of a bird of prey. Just like her house, she’s also painfully _ordinary_ and he wonders if the old man Gandalf had led him false. He probably shouldn't have based this entire leg of the journey on the words of an enigmatic old man he met on the side of the road. But it wasn't like he had any leads to go on at the time. Belatedly, Kili realized he was still gaping at her. “You’re ruining the view.”

“L-Lady, I – “

“Save it, _dwarf_.” She disappears from the window but he could hear her still, cussing and kicking things as she moves through her little wooden home. He eyes the foundation of the house and wonders just how much more abuse it could survive when she’s upon him. The door bursts open and he’s being dragged inside by the front of his tunic. “I know what you’re here for. Let’s get this over and done with, alright?”

…She didn’t seem like the type willing to leave with him and make way back to Ered Luin. But he was not too disheartened. He was no Fili, who could talk circles around the guild masters but he had enough charm to make a witch see things his way. At least she had granted him an audience.

“Thank you, my lady.” He manages to get out, still tripping over his own feet and trying _not_ to trip over _her_. He was no good with the years of man, but she was old and perhaps even if he convinces her to travel west, she would not survive the journey.

“Oh don’t thank me _yet.”_ He’s shoved into a chair and was given another cross glance, “Now spit it out, what the hell do you want from the witch?”

“I wish for a way to preserve life. Not for _myself_ ,” Kili blurts out when she opens her mouth, no doubt to lambast him for selfishness or greed. The misconceptions the other races had of his kind were _very_ unjust. “I have someone dear to me and my family who –”

“I told you not to thank me,” She’s scowling and the expression does nothing to smooth the wrinkles on her face. She’s agitated and had gotten up off her seat to rifle through a few chests. He can hear clinking of glass and wonders, what potions could there be…? “There are three ways to achieve immortality.”

“My lady,” He didn’t want immortality. Just a century more for Bilbo Baggins and his uncle. “It’s –“

“Don’t ask me what they are,” It’s like she’s not even listening to him. “I wasn’t really paying attention in that class.”

“And you say so with such brazenness, Tilda.” There was another in the house and he’d barely noticed. The house was small and cramped, yet from the shadows out slips a figure, “Greetings, Master Dwarf. To what do we owe the pleasure?”

He had no words for her. 

An _elf_.


	2. Hogwarts AU

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which dwarves are from Durmstrang, elves are from Beauxbatons and Hobbits and Men are from Hogwarts. There's an exchange of sorts.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just wanted a little switch in dynamics with Legolas and Tauriel. They're the same age but instead of Tauriel being the impulsive one with Legolas following along like, gfdi why? it's Tauriel putting up with his melodrama.

"He won't stop looking at me." 

If it was the  _first_ time this complaint came up over the course of breakfast, Tauriel would have cared just a  _bit_ more. Unfortunately for her as well as for their classmates, it _wasn't_. Besides, Tauriel would hardly consider that 'I-will-gut-you-in-your-sleep' glower as a stare, but it wasn't her business unless the Durmstrang wizard tried to make good on it. 

"Now they're  _all_ staring at me!" Came the vehement whisper, accompanied by an elbow into her ribs. Tauriel stifled a sigh. She  _wasn't_ going to slam him face-first into his oatmeal, she tells herself. Not only because Legolas was her oldest friend and Headmaster Thranduil's  _only son_ but because... she was running out of reasons, which was worrying.

Legolas was unrelenting in voicing his ire once he got started. It took very little to set him off when he was comfortable enough with those around him to actually voice his opinion. But telling herself that it was due to their close friendship and she should consider it a compliment had stopped soothing her frazzled nerves years ago. 

"Perhaps, if you hadn't insulted every single member of his family, his ancestors _and_ descendants, the merits of his beloved school  _as well as his wand_ ," Tauriel recited faithfully albeit tonelessly, "He wouldn't be staring at you." And neither would his friends. Durmstrang students were steadfast in their defense of one another and had no qualms against ganging up on anyone stupid enough to harass one of their own. She could get behind that sentiment though she could see Legolas being swarmed by a group of belligerent Durmstrang boys in the near future.

She didn't have to look up from her Transfiguration notes to know that Legolas was scowling at her but he didn't protest. It  _had_ happened and while it had been horrible to witness at that moment, Tauriel could now fondly look back on it. That meeting had been filed under 'Times When Legolas Makes An Ass of Himself'. Subsection: Blackmail / Humiliation. 

There had been several more choice things Legolas had snapped at the Durmstrang student. First, in halting English (because Legolas preferred being understood when he insulted someone's lineage) and then in scathing French once he worked himself into a snit and stopped caring about comprehension. Tauriel had stood by her friend's side, awestruck. 

It was like being given a first row seat to a horrible Curse. 

She came from a family of Curse-breakers, so yeah, she knew what those things could do. 

Legolas was mumbling something still. 

_Bother._

* * *

Tauriel missed the days when their school had little contact with others outside of the Triwizard Tournament. When Headmaster Thranduil had announced the exchange program as the new initiative of this year, it had barely registered. The carriage ride to the sprawling palatial Beauxbatons had been a long one and she had been more interested in dinner than in a program she had no intention of signing up for.

Until her name was announced along with a handful of others. There were squeals and excited murmurs trailing up and down the dining hall, the sounds turning into a low buzz in her ears. The classmates closest to her were offering her congratulations, some were jokingly offering to trade places with her - and yeah, she would agree in a heartbeat - and they were all talking over one another asking for souvenirs and promises that she'd keep in touch. Yes, yes, it was all very exciting and even though she couldn't confirm it at the moment, she knew Legolas was to blame for her current predicament.

"Father wouldn't let me go if you didn't come with me," was the only thing Legolas would say on the matter. Because, strangest of all things, Thranduil actually  _liked_ her or liked her enough to trust that she'll return Legolas to him in one piece once this  _horrible idea_ was over. 

"It'll be fun," Legolas says, as they were boarding their carriages. It's like he conveniently forgets that she came from a family of Curse-breakers and their yearly vacations were always somewhere exotic, dangerous and  _fun_. Going to some strange school for the year (her  _last_ year!) was not going to be fun. 

Hogwarts had offered to host this year. Next year would be Beauxbatons' turn, and the year after (if this program doesn't get cut by then) would be Durmstrang's. From what very little Legolas had to say on the matter, it had been a quite a hassle to get everything sorted. They had three school boards, each with a different curriculum, to work around as well as appealing to three wizarding bodies of government. France's Ministry of Magic was efficient enough (no where near as efficient as Bulgaria's), but Britain's... ha.  

She just wanted everything to be over.

* * *

"What happened to your _face_?!" The hospital wing was overseen by a fierce matron who only replied to her title as 'Madame Took' and Tauriel had braved her gimlet glare more often than she would like to admit. Thanks to Legolas. Who, incidentally, was the reason she was here. Tauriel had been waiting rather impatiently for the blond when Mithian, a sixth year who had managed to meet Thranduil's exhausting requirements to join their trip, mentioned how there had been a bit of a scuffle in the courtyards earlier.  

Somewhere further back, closer to the Madame's office, came a smattering of cries and curses - Bulgarian to match their French. Tauriel could feel dread pooling into her gut, "Legolas..."

"He started it."

This was definitely going to come back and haunt them.

* * *

Of course, trouble found _her_ at the  _library_  of all places.  

Tauriel had always struggled with Potions. There was something about the way she went about it that more often than not, ended in tears, disaster and a smouldering cauldron. Professor Beauchamp had explained it as Tauriel's forceful nature. That was a load of excrement, if anything. Tauriel wasn't going to blame her _personality_ for her failures as a Potions student. Besides, she _needed_ Potions to pursue Cursebreaking (much to the evident amusement and sadistic glee of her family).  
Tauriel was immersed in the thick Potions tome in front of her, leaning forward so that her hair cast a curtain over her face, she was completely unaware that someone else had approached her table until they tapped gently on the pages with two fingers.

She looked up, index finger still absently twirling in a clockwise manner, mimicking the movement of the ladle if she were actually brewing the potion.

"Legolas isn't here." She had meant to ask, 'Can I help you?' but this particular Durmstrang boy was the one Legolas had begun to call, 'Bane of my Existence'. They never paid much mind to Tauriel, which was a good choice on their part. She wasn't Beauxbatons' resident duelling champion for nothing. 

"Stay here," Came the grunt and the stocky redhead had bounded off again, paying no mind when Madame Baggins let out a screech at his running.

Whatever. Tauriel wasn't going to spend any more time than necessary talking about those odd Durmstrang boys. Legolas already wasted enough of her time doing that. Instead, she reached into her bag for another chocolate biscuit. While Madame Baggins, the librarian of Hogwarts, loved her cookies and sweets, no eating was to be done in the library. The contraband goods would probably see to her suspension and return to France if the matronly librarian had her way. Tauriel had no objections.

She choked on the biscuit when the redhead returned, this time with two other Durmstrang students, a blonde and a brunette. They didn't walk over very casually, no. Even Tauriel could tell that the brunette was trying to make a getaway. He looked like he was being marched to his death, which made her smile a bit. What could possibly be so scary that had the usual stern-looking boys so...emotive? With the redhead on his left, the blonde on his right and both arms restrained, he was literally frogmarched right in front of Tauriel. So  _she_ was the scary obstacle to face then? 

There was a moment of silence punctuated with some not so subtle elbowing, before red-faced and wide-eyed, the brunette spat out: " _Willyougotothedancewithme?_ "

"The what?" Her English had improved greatly over their stay at Hogwarts but she _must have heard wrong_.

"The dance!" The blonde one piped up, nodding. He didn't look like there had been a translational error.

"Yes or no?" The redhead was glaring, like she was ruining all of his plans and quite possibly his _life_. She really didn't have the time or patience to put up with this, because believe it or not, these boys weren't the only ones that had come up to harass her with their own invitations while she studied. She hadn't even intended on going to the stupid dance. And even if she _were_ , Legolas would lynch her for going with one of _them_.

Besides, this was probably one of those stupid jokes they played. Legolas and several other members of their Beauxbatons group had fallen for them in the past. Tauriel had never been targeted, until now, that is. "I'm not going to fall for one of your stupid jokes." She replied, making sure to say things slowly so her accent wasn't so prominent. And then, just for good measure, she adds, "Go. Away."

* * *

And now they were staring at _her_. 

Not just Gimli and his friends, but the  _entire group of Durmstrang students_. The only one who wouldn't look at her was Kili, the brunette. They averted their gaze whenever she did meet their eyes, all except Gimli, who looked murderous, as always. She suspected that the wizard wouldn't back down even if it was a dragon staring back at him, not just Tauriel. 

The preparations for the dance were nearly complete. Tauriel couldn't avoid hearing about these status reports, offered freely and completely unwelcome on her part, since everyone was excited about it. Hogwarts hadn't had a dance in half a decade, perhaps more. At Beauxbatons, Headmaster Thranduil threw monthly fetes. Tauriel _really_ didn't see what the fuss was about.

And she still wasn't going.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tell me what you think?


End file.
